Ten Things I Like About You

If pressed to name the top ten things I love about my husband, I'm not sure I'd trust the list I'd generate. I'm doing it because I need to embrace all the wonderful things about this man in between my bouts of hating him. It's particularly hard, because right now, I can see the not-so-silver lining behind all the traits that attract me to him. It's Sunday, and I'm feeling generous, so here goes:

1. He's a true believer. Not quite Don Quixote, but my husband has a set of core values and principles that endure, no matter what the talking heads are saying is fashionable. A pragmatist by nature, I am in awe at his ability to keep the faith, no matter what.

2. He's creative. He has this instinctive need to inject beauty in the world, however he sees it. The man writes poetry, composes music, and paints. He's got a great eye as a photographer, a strong sense of design and composition, and an eye for color. He knows how to make people take notice.

3. He's a loyal, supportive, generous friend. Once he decides he likes someone, there is not a better friend in the world than my husband. At times, people take advantage of his generosity and loyalty, but it takes a lot to get him to waver in his support.

4. He's kind. Genuinely so. He has a knack for putting people at ease because he is interested in getting to know them and hearing what they have to say. He attracts a lot of strays this way, but I've never seen him be intentionally cruel.

5. He's an amazing father. If you asked his kids to name the person whom they most admire in the world, they'd name their dad. Having been raised in a family where emotions were considered signs of weakness, I am constantly amazed at the loving, open relationship between him and his children.

6. He challenges me. I am not a complacent person by nature, but he always pushes me to do just a bit better than my best. While he knows how to lavishly praise a job well done, he always helps me take it to the next level.

7. He's never at a loss for words. He is well-read, well-spoken, a skilled devil's advocate, and genuinely curious about the world. We don't have dull conversations, ever.

8. He never says never. Once my husband decides to do something, he gives it his all. He tackles problems head on, and looks for creative solutions that other might not consider. He doesn't like to admit defeat, so often keeps going when others have given up. I always want him on my team.

9. He has a wonderful, if somewhat warped, sense of humor. Though I'm not always in complete agreement with him about what it takes, he knows how to lighten things up, especially when I start taking myself too seriously. If laughter really adds years to a person's life, I'm going to be an old lady.

10. He knows how to kiss me. There is no substitute for a good kisser. Because if I know one thing, it's that if a man can kiss, it's 99.9 percent certain that he's skilled in other areas, too.


My dilemma is reconciling all these wonderful things with the dark side that I know lurks beneath. Every time I think about leaving, I wonder how I will fill the gaping hole in my life that his absence will create. No easy answers here...

The Wife Who Knows