What Goes Around

I read last week's Newsweek, spotlighting women's health issues, with great interest. In particular, I was fascinated by an article about a cervical cancer vaccine that is currently in clinical trials. It never fails to amaze me that some people would object so strenuously -- or even object at all -- to something so simple as a shot that would prevent something so miserable as a cancer. But it's hard to scare girls into abstinence if you take away the threat of deadly consequences.

The reason the article caught my eye is because The Other Woman has cervical cancer. She was diagnosed shortly after she and my husband began their affair. When things started going sour between them, she used guilt -- it was his fault, he was the one who gave her the cancer-causing HPV -- to convince him to stay. It worked for a while; it took him several months after her announcement to break it off. When he did, she made a last-ditch attempt to save it by telling him that her doctors had given her two months to live and would he please, for old times sake (he owed her, after all), come stay with her while she was dying? He didn't go -- I can only assume that he took my advice and checked out her story with the hospice she claimed to have checked herself out of -- but he felt bad about it for a long time. I think he still thinks, on some level, that he was responsible. He wasn't.

Every girl who paid attention in sex ed knows that, yes, you can get cervical cancer from sex. That's why we go through the joy of an annual pap smear: to catch abnormal cells early before they develop into something worse. It's not foolproof -- which is why the prospect of a vaccine is so exciting -- but it's pretty effective. In any case, it takes YEARS for an HPV to develop into cancer. According to Stanford University, the median time for cervical cancer to develop is 7 - 14 years. And Planned Parenthood points out that because HPV is so prevalent and because of the long incubation period, it's basically impossible to determine the source of infection.

Hmmmm.... my husband or some one night stand from back in college? Whatever works....


The Wife Who Knows



p.s. I promise I would never wish cancer on my worst enemy, because the treatment is pretty hideous. In the Other Woman's case, however, it was effective. Fifteen months into her two-month death sentence, she is alive and well and, from all accounts, cancer free. So use her story as a cautionary tale and go get a pap smear! For women without health insurance, many Planned Parenthood clinics offer low-cost exams. Take care of yourself, because no one else will do it for you.


TWWK